Are You Scrappy? Research Says Resilience Is A Leading Cause of Success

It’s no secret—we all love a great story about resilience. Rapper Jay-Z couldn’t couldn’t get a record label to sign him, so he eventually started his own label. Comedian Jim Carey was once homeless and living out a van. Author Stephen King’s first novel was rejected thirty times. King threw that manuscript in the trash. His wife pulled it back out and encouraged him to keep writing. Or, consider the story of Bethany Hamilton. At the age of 13 she lost her left arm, and almost her life, to a shark attack. One month later, she was back on a surf board. Two years after that, she one first place in the Explorer Women’s Division of the NSSA National Championships.

Inspiring, right? We all love these stories of resilience. However, there’s an irony in life that many of us don’t like to admit—adversity is often the catalyst of opportunity, and there’s plenty of adversity to go around.

All of will face hardships in life. We might get dumped by a significant other, mourn the death of a loved one, lose a job, or suffer from unexpected health issues. Of course, how we deal with life’s adversity is up to us. Do we quit? Do we surrender? Do we self-sabotage? Or, do we reach deep and somehow find the strength to overcome these hurdles?

Of course, none of us want to consider ourselves quitters. Yet, many of us actually don’t know how to overcome rejection, loss, tragedy, or trauma. It’s not like there was a class in high-school called Resilience: Overcoming All The Hardships You’ll Face In The Real World. But, maybe there should be…

As a career writer, I’ve had the opportunity to interview countless business leaders, celebrities, and even elite athletes. I’ve also interviewed countless people—maybe they’re not famous—who simply say they’ve lived blessed, happy, lives. The one thing all of these successful people share in common is a unique ability to overcome various life and career obstacles, setbacks, and hurdles. And, many large surveys discovered the same thing—resilience matters in every aspect of life. At work, research cited on Inc.com states, “people with low resilience are four times more likely to experience burnout.” In relationships, resilience to financial stress is an indicator of success. And, when it comes to health concerns, building resilience (eating healthy, exercising, and regular check-ups) is widely considered the best prevention to future health problems.

Here’s the rub: when it comes to adversity in life, and building resilience, most of us don’t know how to do it. Still, we want to bounce back, avoid mistakes, and eliminate the pain and frustration as quickly as possible.

Here are three things I’ve learned in my life, and from others, that might help a little.

Learn from Rejection and Failure:

Being rejected hurts. Failing feels horrible. And, it’s our nature to want to sweep these life instances under the rug and hope nobody is paying attention. But, rejection and failure are often the two best ways we can learn to improve. If you get rejected for job promotion, for example, seek answers to why someone else was chosen. The reasons are rarely personal. And, the answers will typically tell you exactly what effort, attributes, and skills are valued at your workplace. If you suffer a failure. Let’s say you try to launch a small business. Don’t just run away with embarrassment. Figure out exactly where you went wrong. That way, when you launch your next business, you’ll know precisely what to avoid.

Seek Discomfort:

This isn’t new advice. However, it’s worthy of a constant reminder. As humans, we seek comfort and stability. And, we often resist change. However, in order to build resilience, it’s important to challenge ourselves and push ourselves out of our comfort zones. Again, this might feel redundant, but I’ve never interviewed anyone successful that told me, “The key to success was never taking a risk.” When you seek discomfort, especially in controlled environments, you’ll be much more resilient in unexpected situations.

Speak Positively:

Okay, so this piece of advice might seem a bit fluffy at first glance. However, I challenge you to pay attention to the way you speak internally to yourself. All words have meanings, even when those words never leave our lips. Listen to both your internal dialogue and your external dialogue. Negative words have negative impact. And, positive words have positive impact. “I will be better because of this,” is one phrase to learn early in life. You may not believe yourself at the time. But, eventually, you’ll realize you were right. Somehow the adversity in your life, and your scrappy attitude to overcome it, taught you a lesson that benefitted you beyond belief.

Resilience, for most of us, is learned through the experiences of hardships. And, while I’m not the expert on resilience, I do believe it’s a skill we should constantly strive to acquire in the best and worst times of our lives. In fact, while researching for this article, I did find an online course that I found quite fascinating. In fact, it’s something we all should have taken a long time ago—before the real world revealed just how important resilience will become in our success.