Make The Best Impression: 11 Obvious Behaviors of Unconfident People, and Why You Should Be Aware of Them

It’s no secret. And, it’s not unique to any of us. Confidence is something everyone struggles with at some point in their life and career. And, while it’s completely natural to feel a bit anxious in certain situations (like asking someone on a date, or going for a job interview) it’s also important to realize that revealing your lack of confidence can be the most detrimental aspect to your goal. Think about it. Do you want to date someone who is extremely unconfident? Do you want to hire someone who is unconfident about their abilities? No.

Here 11 glaringly obvious behaviors of people who lack confidence. Learn them well so, even though you might feel anxious, you can make the best impression possible.

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1. Create Physical Walls

People lacking in confidence will cross their arms across their chest, avoid eye contact, and maintain a defensive distance. Confident people, on the other hand, will expand their arms as if they welcome others inside their space, lock eyes, and engage through body language.

2. Retreat with Fear of Rejection or Failure

Unconfident people often avoid any situation that could lead to feeling badly. For example, if they find someone attractive, they’ll avoid having a conversation—even though they don’t have to ask that person on a date. Or, they may avoid a game, like bowling with friends, because they’re unsure of their ability. And, because of this, they consistently end up losing by choice.

3. Avoid True Competition

While unconfident people can be competitive minded, they typically will avoid any true competition. Sure, they might talk about how they’re better at something. But, when it’s time to test—toe-to-toe—they’ll make up an excuse why they can’t compete.

4. Don’t Speak With Certainty

Okay, you’re probably thinking about some people you know who talk a big game because they lack confidence. That’s different. Certainty and authority are based on knowledge and experience rather than emotion. If you want to appear confident, just study the facts. When you do, you’ll actually be confident rather than pretend to be confident.

5. Hesitate To Take Action

Unconfident people will be slow to take action. Why? Because they don’t trust themselves. Confident people will take action and deal with the outcome no matter what it happens to be. If you want to appear more confident, don’t hesitate. Act.

6. Lack Composure

Sometimes people confuse the word composure with restraint. Many people who lack confidence spend a lot of time restraining themselves, their ideas, and their actions. However, composure is different. It means that you are in control of your emotions as well. It means someone can disagree with you and your emotions are stable because you believe in your own opinions and thoughts.

7. Are Easily Offended

Think about this. If someone rude calls someone else stupid, who’s going to be offended? It won’t be people who truly believe they’re smart. Instead, it will be the person who questions their own intelligence. Unconfident people are easily offended while confident people brush off negative comments easily—because those comments don’t affect them.

8. Don’t Celebrate Others

Unconfident people hate giving credit to others. They don’t like to see others succeed. They’re envious, and somehow believe that other people’s achievements are their failures. If you want to appear more confident, start by cheering for other people. When you do, they’ll start cheering for you.

9. Struggle Making Decisions

Just like taking action, unconfident people have a really hard time making decisions. They may struggle with simple things like what to order on the menu, which movie they want to watch, or how to solve a simple problem. Again, it’s because they don’t trust their own judgement, and fear that any decision will be the wrong one. If you want to be more confident, make the decision and teach yourself this phrase, “I believe I made the right decision.” If you’re wrong, so what?

10. Focus On Their Own Weaknesses

This is a bit obvious, yet it’s confusing for a lot of people. Highly confident people are actually the most humble people—because they don’t feel the need to impress others. However, unconfident people will often spend a lot of time talking about their weaknesses. That’s not humility. That’s self-degradation. Learn and practice the difference.

11. Avoid Knowledge That Might Prove Them Wrong

We live in a world where every answer can be found at our fingertips. However, unconfident people often avoid learning because they fear they might be proven wrong. Listen for phrases like, “I feel like the answer might be this,” or “I just know the answer will be that.” Confident people will simply respond by saying, “I don’t know. Let’s find out.” Confident people are constant learners.

While we’ll all have moments throughout our lives when we feel a lack of confidence, there’s two important things we should all learn from these 11 behaviors. The first thing we need to understand is that, even when it’s real, we don’t always want to reveal that we’re lacking in confidence. But, more importantly, instead of learning how to hide our lack of confidence, we should all ask ourselves the questions, “Why do I lack confidence? And, how do I actually, truly, become confident?”