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Your Story: Why 3 Stories of Gratitude Tell It Better Than You Do
He didn’t know how to respond. His face was blank. His expression seemed confused.
I’ve spent a good portion of my career writing about, researching, and speaking about the power of appreciation at work. So, I was baffled when a CEO sitting next to me on an airplane asked me to explain it. Instead of explaining it, I asked him to tell me a story about how he had been recognized at work—what was said, how he felt, and what those words made him realize.
Still, he had no response.
Then, I changed the question. I asked the CEO to think back to days in elementary school—the teachers, kids, and coaches. I asked him to remember high school—maybe now he had a significant other. And, then I asked him to recall college or early career. “In any of those periods of your life, did someone say something to you that recognized a skill, trait, talent, or ambition?”
The CEO’s had nodded slowly.
“I bet you remember the exact words that were spoken,” I said. “I bet you recall everything about that instance.”
Tears welled in the man’s eyes. “It was a coach,” he told me. “I remember my middle-school football coach pulling me off to the side, grabbing me by the pads, and telling me I was the most tenacious kid on the field—because I never stopped.”
While the CEO continued to tell me his story, I realized I had been asking the wrong questions. From that day forward I began asking everyone to share their stories—of when someone appreciated them. And, over the course of the next few years, I saw more tears than I ever would have imagined. I heard stories about childhood friends, teachers, coaches, flames, and figure-heads. I even heard stories about how some people were even approached by perfect strangers.
What’s so powerful about these stories?
While I always called them stories of appreciation, there’s something bigger at play—gratitude.
Revisit these time periods in your life and try to recall moments in your life where someone said something positive about you.
1.Elementary/Grammar School:
Maybe a teacher called you artistic, an uncle called you athletic, a cousin said you were funny, or a friend noticed your intelligence. These people recognized something about you that you wanted to be recognized for.2.Middle-School/High School:
Maybe a coach called you tenacious, a teacher witnessed your creativity, or a romantic interest complimented your character. These people, again, were noticing the person you wanted to become.3.College/Early-Career:
Maybe a coworker praised your critical thinking, your manager complimented your work ethic, or your leadership team thanked you for your innovation. These people were acknowledging the things you value. They were recognizing the person you want to be in the working world.While these three stories might initiate some strong memories in you, it’s even more important to understand and recall what happened after these stories. The kid whose teacher called him artistic, put more effort into art. The guy or gal who was complimented for having a strong character, strived to strengthen it further. And, the employee who was praised for innovation, focused on not only repeating their previous activity, but outperforming it.
But, still there’s more…
Many of these stories are revealing about the people we became today. Trace back through your own life and career, and you’ll most likely see the connections. However, do you understand the impact you can have on other people’s life stories?
While appreciation has power, gratitude (appreciation with an added level of thankfulness) is even more powerful.
Imagine someone striving to be better because you shared your gratitude. Imagine that they tear up telling the story about the power of your words. And, imagine how good it would feel to simply tell the people who make your life better, easier, more joyful, and more inspiring, because they exist. It takes only seconds of your time. However, your words could live with them forever.
Try showing your gratitude today and see what happens next.
1. Tell the person exactly what they did that you admire.
2. Tell them what value, goal, or attribute you respect.
3. Explain how that impacts you, and why.
4. Express your gratitude. Say “Thank You!”
Gratitude is a powerful force. And, it’s not something many of us were taught to share. However, it should be. And we should all be looking for instruction on how to be better at it.
