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40 Things Baby Boomers Still Think Are Cool
If you’re a boomer reading this, well we’re sorry in advance. But we have no choice but to inform you that a lot of the things you’ve been doing for, well, ever, are pretty uncool. And although you may think otherwise, these trends are never coming back in style, so you have to accept it.
While there are so many opportunities for growth amongst the Baby Boomer generation, so many choose to be stubborn in their old ways, torturing generations for years to come. Here are the most unforgivable trends Baby Boomer still think are cool, but need to stop immediately.
The Mall
While the mall was once an escape for retail therapy and socializing, the malls of today’s America have only decayed. Society’s online shopping availability has eliminated our need for malls, as common sense shoppers know the inventory and crowds aren’t worth it.
Cable TV Packages
Cable may have once been necessary to watch TV, but that’s no longer the case, and Boomers need to get with the times. Not only are satellite and cable outdated, but streaming is cheaper and provides tailored options for the things you actually watch. Cut the cord!
Writing Checks
If you’re still writing checks in this day and age, you’re clearly stuck in prehistoric times because no one even accepts them anymore. Plus, banking apps process them with real-time photos, and with digital transfers available, we wonder why you’d want to writing one anyways.
Using A Briefcase
Looking at the men here, but let’s point out the obvious – we work on computers now, and literally everything lives online – what could you possibly be carrying around in a briefcase? Pens and paper? Time to retire it.
Catalogues
We don’t care if you signed up years ago, there’s literally no point in catalogues anymore. Companies feature their promotions and entire product line online, and you’re going to have to go there to order things anyway. So save the Earth and ditch the traditional catalogue.
Socks & Sandals
For the love of all things, why on Earth did anyone ever do this? The entire point of sandals in the first place is to wear them without socks. It just looks absolutely ridiculous.
Diamonds
Yes, we know how precious these jewels are to older generations, but the reality is that many young people today don’t care about diamonds. People have become more simplistic, or just find cheaper alternatives.
Phone Hip Clip
For whatever reason, Boomers think it’s necessary to have their cell phones attached to their hip, as if they don’t have purses or enough pockets already. Not only does it look tacky, but they should learn to actually use their phone before worrying about missing a call or message.
Conspiracy Theories
We suppose it’s not surprising that the generation that was first exposed to media is the one most manipulated by it, but many Boomers believe some absolutely off-the-wall claims, and they’re in the minority by far. Time to start to use the internet to do your own fact checking.
High-Waisted Jeans
There are many things that seem to repeat themselves in fashion, but high-waist jeans are something that doesn’t deserve condoning. They are simultaneously uncomfortable and unflattering, and the days of them being in style is long gone.
China Dishware
It’s inevitable that when showing up to a Boomer’s dinner party, they’ll be serving something in some outdated china. Now why they haven’t upgraded their dishware in 50 years, that’s on them to answer. It’s fragile, has to be hand washed and it’s time to upgrade.
New Balance Shoes
These are unmistakable, and makes it easy to identify a Boomer in seconds. Anyone wearing the classic, bulky white New Balances is certified to be over 55, and clearly has zero taste or sense of fashion. Please don’t wear these, because it’s only putting you into the lost cause category.
Phone Books
When’s the last time you can seriously remember a phone book being left at your front door? That’s because it rarely happens anymore, unless you request one of course. And if you’re doing that, you’re only showing your age, because every phone number is on the internet.
Jorts
While jorts may have made sense back when the only alternative was, well, actual jeans, they now only make you look outdated. Sure, they’re durable, but jean material is heavy, less fluid, and takes forever to dry. Probably a lot more practical to wear athletic shorts or at least cargos.
24-Hour News Networks
Staying informed is important, especially in this day and age, but boy, overdoing the news is a cardinal sin these days. Especially in an age of information overload and redundant broadcasting. The best therapy is fresh air, so get outside and turn off the tube!
Hawaiian Shirts
If you think about it, you never see a kid wearing a Hawaiian shirt in the name of fashion. As a matter of fact, you may not have ever seen someone under 50 wearing a Hawaiian shirt ever. That’s because they’re corny, and were played out decades ago. At this point they’re try-hard.
Cursive
Regardless of whether you had to learn it in school, the reality is that no one uses cursive in the outside world, and if they do, they’re going to get some confused looks. People’s handwriting is already bad enough, and making things harder to read is unnecessary. Let’s just write normally.
Dad Slacks
Another infamous fashion faux paux is the willingness to wear business casual shorts resembling your office slacks cut in half for the golf course. And worse, they’re usually accompanied by tucked-in shirts and the patented New Balances. If this is you, you’re under arrest.
Home Shopping Networks
Whether it’s HSN, QVC, or any of the other number of television shopping stations, you can bet that 99% of the audience is Boomers. No one else in their right mind would spend hours watching products be slowly unveiled before buying something you don’t need. Again, the internet.
Velcro Shoes
The rule is basically that the only two groups of people that wear velcro shoes are children and old people, so congratulations Boomers, but if you’re now too lazy to have laces, you’re officially old. They may be easy, but no good looking shoes have velcros. Save it for your nineties.
Sending Emails
In a generation where everyone has personal computers at the palm of their hands, Boomers still elect to send emails rather than a simple text or instant message. Maybe they just don’t realize, but people reserve emails for work and promotional nonsense no one checks anymore.
Cruises
Especially after the latest pandemic, cruises are going to be a hard sell, but maybe not for the Baby Boomer generation. They were already the target audience before, and that’s because they love endless buffets and not having to walk. We’re almost positive they’ll be the first back.
All-You-Can-Eat Buffets
Speaking of buffets, another commodity that the Boomers seem to enjoy a little too much are the all-you-can-eat ones around town. And if you’ve ever been in one, you know they make up the entire crowd. They’re not even that good, and aren’t sanitary, so it’s another thing to drop.
Dressing Like A Tourist
For whatever reason, it seems that when you reach that certain age, your propensity to dress like a tourist in your own town of residence doubles. The cargo shorts, the tucked in polo, the random sun hat, and who can forget the fanny pack? It’s a mystery we can’t yet solve.
Knick Knacks
One thing that millennials seem to have gotten right is that minimalism ensures a less stressful life, and in turn, less clutter. Older generations seem keen on keeping heirlooms and buying random items to fill up their rooms, but all it’s doing is showing you’re prone to hoarding.
Bar Soap
With the ever-growing popularity of body washes replacing traditional barred soaps, it’s no surprise that the only people who still use them are Boomers. These people are stuck in their ways and scents, but the truth is, you get more aroma and bang for your buck with liquid soaps.
Sweepstakes
No one under the age of 30 has probably ever participated in a sweepstakes period, and we can bet most adults haven’t been interested in one since the turn of the century. Except the Baby Boomers of course, who are always enticed by a longshot chance at a million bucks. You’re better off playing bingo.
9-5 Work Weeks
Somehow, the old days of heading to the factory or plant for a laborious 8-hour workday seems asinine, especially after we all got a taste of working from home in 2020. Plus, with the modernity of technology and mental health acknowledgement, we deserve more personal time.
Blaming Millennials
While it may be convenient to just blame the younger generations for all the world’s problems, the true irony is that Boomers have lived long enough to be responsible for exactly where the country (and world) is at right now. Stop pointing fingers, we’re all in this together.
Paper Bills
Another outdated practice that has seemingly no purpose in the digital age is paper bills being mailed to your house. All they do is sit there and create clutter, anxiety, and serve as a reminder. With auto bill-pay and paperless billing in general, There’s no reason for this wasteful practice!
Toast
Back in the days of pinching pennies and recovering from the great depression, toast became a staple breakfast because it was cheap and simple. Well, fast forward to the present when waffle makers, blenders, and breakfast burritos exist, and it makes us question why they still eat it now.
Cop Dramas
We’re not sure what it is about television police dramas, but one thing we know is that Boomers are obsessed with watching them. Literally every one, it doesn’t even matter the quality or who’s acting. NCIS, Criminal Minds, Law & Order, other ones you’ve never heard of – you name it. Put an end to it.
Word Art On Walls
“Live. Laugh. Love.” “Do the right thing, even when no one is watching.” Can you guess who decided to put these generic quotes on pieces of wood and canvases? Yep, the Baby Boomers. Now these tacky decorations have become mainstream, but guess who the only people that buy them are? You guessed it – Boomers.
Ironing
Okay we get it, everyone gets wrinkles in their clothes and it’s annoying, so you have to take an extra step to get rid of them. But, conveniently today, there’s better detergents and softeners that eliminate these wrinkles, in addition to better steamers. Don’t waste your time ironing.
Racquetball
The ultimate Boomer sport is definitely racquetball, because unlike golf or tennis, you don’t even go outside and have limited mobility in the confines of a small room with air conditioning. While it can be a decent sport at the pro level, it’s usually something you see elders playing at the YMCA.
Fuzzy Toilet Covers
First of all, there is absolutely no reason this trend should’ve ever existed, period. Who on the Earth thought it was a good idea to merge carpets with the place you’re going to the bathroom? It’s not sanitary, nor is it easy to clean. Plus it’s ugly, so let’s just never do that again and pretend it didn’t happen.
Patterned Wallpaper
Sure, maybe this was all the rage when Boomers were growing up, but if you still use these ugly wallpapers today, you need to have your interior decorating privileges taken away. Wallpaper in general is no longer in style, and most of it looks tacky in more than a small amount. Let’s keep up with the times.
Mrs. Dash
You can tell you’re eating a Boomer’s cooking if you can taste the Mrs. Dash, because that is and apparently always will be their favorite seasoning. They justify putting it in nearly anything, and something about the taste just triggers the smell of older people. With so many other choices, let’s switch it up.
Crocs
While the rest of the young and fashionable world has banished Crocs to the end of the Earth, Baby Boomers managed to help them persist extradition by avidly buying and advocating for their production. Sure, they’re functional, but they look ridiculous. Owning crocs means you’re old, at least deep down.
Potpourri
You can almost smell it as soon as you read the word. Potpourri is the original room fragrance, but it’s hard to imagine a smell that defines the Baby Boomer generation more than this. It’s musty, leaves a mess if tipped over, and will probably make you sneeze. Candles are much better.
